Watching monkeys on the tv. “Wild China” on BBC knowledge. These days, most of the shows I catch on tv are documentaries. Dramas waste too much time, Taiwanese entertainment shows are not funny anymore, they don’t show japanese shows on tv, and I truly find documentaries entertaining. I’m really behaving like an old woman.

Starting work in about a week’s time. To be honest, I’m feeling uncertain. Not sure if this is the right step or the right choice.

Just met my secondary school mates over a chinese new year reunion, and they are all doing pretty well in their careers. Makes me wonder where will I be, or how I will do in one or two years’ time. L’s already in china, and even though it’s not as exciting as being in new york or some other place, the overseas posting is still providing good exposure and experience. Mc has been doing very well from day one; he’s now a trader with temasek holdings. We have many auditors in the class too. Management trainees etc. All sorts of high-flyers. Wonder what will my future be like. Hmm..

I’m heading down to the firm to sign my employment contract later. I really hope it’s a good decision! I was asking sm about her job hunting and she mentioned that she chose to do research within an academic setting instead of taking up a better offer at nhg. Told her that I also gave up a better offer, and I wish both of us all the best!

Meanwhile, my sis got called up for an interview yesterday. It’s from a recruiting firm, for a hr/admin position. If she doesn’t get into the next round, at least I hope it’s a sign of better luck coming. She’ll have something to do, and be less “depressed” when she finally finds a job.

H also got a call from a recruiter today, for a sales position. The recruiter said he’ll send in h’s cv to the company. I kind of hope that he gets it too! Time for a better change. If not, perhaps better offers are coming his way!

I’m thinking of getting a new mp3 player, but I just can’t decide what I want yet. My old ipod is still functional, though it’s cranky and takes a long time (and several attempts) to shut down. I wonder whether I should just retire it and get a new mp3 player. Because if I clean it up, load it up and update it, and then it crashes on me, I will be fuming mad, since the songs can’t be transferred out.

Speaking of which, I’m thinking about a non-apple mp3 player. BUT. I think I won’t be able to get any accessories or find a decent dock to go with it. Besides, I use mac.. Sony softwares are never compatible with the mac os. I know that from experience, since I’ve been using Sony digital cameras for a very long time.

Any recommendations or advice?

I’ve made the final decision to join the bigger firm. Actually the salary is lower, and the location isn’t as great, but I thought I should tough it out for at least a year. The name will look great in my CV. Nobody will know about the smaller firm. I know the big firm is probably more bureaucratic, and will involve more statistical work, but I figured that all these will do me good in the long run. I can tell people that I do business analytics in one of the world’s largest consulting firms. So, it’s now time to pray that I’ll have a great time at T!

Btw my other concern with the company is with my immediate supervisor. I have no idea whether I can work with the person, because the person hasn’t been hired. They’re still trying to recruit a manager for the team. I hope it’s going to work out… because a bad boss will make me dread going to work every single day. It’s also the primary reason why I left my previous assignment…

The good news is that my boss’ boss interviewed me and he knows who I am. And according to the recruitment manager, he’s positive about me. His comments were that I’m very “switched on” and “intelligent”. I’m glad! I hope he’ll remember me for a long time. Lower level employees like me can only pray that they don’t get forgotten in the huge organization.

It’s 9.51 am and I’m impatiently waiting for the call from company T. I wasn’t that anxious previously… until company P called me 10 minutes ago. I said it’s not a good time to talk right now, and I’ll call them back at 2 pm. Oh no! I need more information before I can decide! Can company T PLEASE call me ASAP!?!

I went for an interview with company T yesterday. Wonder how it’s going to turn out. They did mention that they are hoping to fill the position fast because they really needed manpower to get back to business, and the hiring manager said that he can actually make the calls, without the need for another round of interview or assessments. So, I’ll have to wait for news from them. I really hope they’ll call me first thing in the morning tomorrow! I need to get back to company P too.

I got a call from K yesterday, around 6pm. He’s asking whether I have this data and that data, and what did NM want me to do. Hello! I’m not working for them anymore! I don’t blame him because I know the asshole is the person making him do all these stuff. He’s stuck in the middle and I am trying my best to help him out. BUT. I really feel reluctant to do anything for NM. She’s not worth my time or effort. That’s why I left!!!

Anyway it’s thursday already… the guys are coming over to my place for a cny reunion and games tomorrow night. I’ll need to prepare the drinks and get some titbits. We’ve been hanging out together since sec 1. That’s a long long time ago. Few days later, L will be going overseas for work. Everyone else has been really busy with their own lives and work in Singapore all the while. I wish everyone a great year ahead

Spent my first cny with h’s relatives this year. They are a friendly bunch, and things got pretty loud towards the end. But I’m used to having lots of relatives around me, so it’s not that intimidating. Towards the end I got quite tired though. Didn’t really sleep well last night, because of an itchy nose and some noise. And this morning I woke up with a stomachache. So I didn’t eat much during steamboat too. Not sure if the food is totally cooked, so to play it safe, I ate just a bit and I didn’t touch anything inside the pot (cos I didn’t see the soup boiling).

Watching nat geo right now. H just went out for a drink with his friends. Told him I’m going to start a “passport” for him so that he can record down how much he has drank. I think his records will surprise him

I tidied up my dataset and did some analyses earlier this afternoon. It’s been a long time since I’ve touched that dataset. And after I’m done summarizing things up, I sent an email to my friend over at the hospital, handing things over to her.

Clicking the “send” button feels weird though. After 2 years, finally, the study will not be my primary responsibility. I know they’ll still bug me for this and that after today, but to me, today’s email marks a fresh new start. I wrote in the email that I’m leaving clinical research for quite a while, and I really do want to leave all the burden behind before I move on to a new job. I know it’s unlikely, especially when people are still bugging me to write papers etc. I’m honestly irritated and annoyed by how the academic/research system functions. So, I’m glad I made the decision to leave for now.

Btw I’m still annoyed to receive emails from my ex-boss. Seeing her name at the sender’s column irritates me. She’s emailing me because she says she needs my help to write and edit a paper. Honestly, I can’t be bothered. Because, I already told her before I took on the project that I will be leaving and I have NO TIME to work on it after I leave. I don’t like working with her or for her at all. Going to ignore her for now. I really have better things to do

歡笑聲 歡呼聲
炒熱氣氛 心卻很冷
聚光燈 是種蒙恩
我卻不能 喊等一等

我真佩服我 還能幽默
掉眼淚時 用笑掩過
怕人看破 顧慮好多
不談寂寞 我們就都快活

我不唱聲嘶力竭的情歌
不表示沒有心碎的時刻
我不曾攤開傷口任宰割
癒合 就無人曉得 我內心挫折
活像個孤獨患者 自我拉扯
外向的孤獨患者 有何不可

笑越大聲 越是殘忍
擠滿體溫 室溫更冷
萬一關燈 空虛擾人
我卻不能 喊等一等

你說你愛我 卻一直說
說我不該 窩在角落
策劃逃脫 這也有錯
連我脆弱 的權利都掠奪

我不唱聲嘶力竭的情歌
不表示沒有心碎的時刻
我不曾攤開傷口任宰割
癒合 就無人曉得 我內心挫折
活像個孤獨患者 自我拉扯
外向的孤獨患者 有何不可

我不要聲嘶力竭的情歌
來提示我需要你的時刻
表面鎮定並不是保護色
反而 是要你懂得 我不知為何
活像個孤獨患者 自我拉扯
外向的孤獨患者 需要認可